Jokes .

Ladies hostel caught Fire. It took 1 hour to bring the
fire under control and another 3 hours to bring the
firemen under control.

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Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be
the first thought to come in your mind?

Husband: that you are a lesbian.


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Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps
in the U.S ???

Because the people started licking the wrong side!


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Girl to hungry boyfriend: If my right leg was
afternoon meal & left leg evening meal what would you prefer?

Boyfriend: Eating between meals !!!!


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Nobody is ever satisfied, Poor men wish they were
rich, Rich men wish they were handsome, Bachelors wish they were married &
Married men wish they were Dead!


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How do you teach a girl maths? Add a bed, subtract
her clothes, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and
hope she doesn't multiply!


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Lady : "I want a good vibrator" Salesman: "Ma'am !
you may select one from our range that is displayed on that wall"

Lady : "O.K. I'll take that red one"

Salesman: "Sorry, that's our fire-extinguisher";


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A divorced Couple were contesting for possession of
the child. The mother said: "I gave birth to him - he's mine"

The father said: "I put a coin in the pepsi machine
and a can comes out - the pepsi belongs to me! not to the
machine !!"


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A girl says to her boyfriend, "One kiss and I'll be
yours forever."

The guy says 'thanks for the warning'


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A Husband Was Asked: "Do you talk to your wife
after sex?"

He replied: "Depends, If I Can find a Phone"


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Definition of a Gynecologist: Someone who looks for
problems where

others look for pleasure!!!


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Man to wife on wedding night- "Are you sure I'm the
first man you are sleeping with?'

"Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the
others!'

1.Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got
heart attack & our driver ran away.

2. Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How urs looks like?
2nd: She is 5"8, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt urs?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!



3 ..Wife: Who's that women who is staring at us?
Hubby:Shhhh. i wud have a tough time explaning to her tomorow who u are
.....


4 ..When does skin meet skin, Hair meet hair & Balls disappear.
think.....
u dirty mind....
it happens when u blink ur eyes.


5 .What's the height of innocence? A 12year old girl
applies pimples cream on her breast!


6 ..Women asked man who is travelling with six children,
all these kids are urs??
No, i work in a condom factory & these are customer
complaints.


7 ..Bride's dad hands a note to the groom: "GOODS DELIVERED
ARE NOT RETURNABLE". Groom gave another note back to
him "CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN".


8 .A girl phoned me the otherday and said "Come on
over, there is nobody home". I went over, Nobody was
home.


9 .Teacher: Why cows look depressed when they are
milked?
Student: Madam, if some1 presses ur boobs for 2hrs &
doesnt f**k u, then how do u feel??


1 0.Do u know the full form of " BANGALORE ". Boys Asking
for Naked Girls At Low Rate Everyday.


1 1 ... she took off his pant gently & whispered" make me a
woman. he smiled & threw the pant at her and said, GO
WASH IT!!!.


1 2 ...Son asks difference between confidence and
confidential, Dad says, you are my son, im confident.
ur friend also my son, thats confidential!


1 3 ...1st sardar: Mumbai is the best city, ALL Free,
Pickup, Drop, Food, Drink, Hotel even Sex.
2nd sardar:When did u go?
1st sardar:Not me, my wife went, she told me.


1 4 ...Wat do u call prostitute, wife & girl friend in
mobile language... Prepaid, Postpaid & Demo card.


1 5.Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this right
time we shud talk abt sex.
Daughter: Sure mom, tell me wat u want to know.
Mom:##??!!

1 6 ...Difference between Good & Bad Girls. Good Girls
open a few button in hot atmosphere. But the Bad Girls
open all buttons to make the atmosphere hot.


1 7 ...Friend to sardar: Why are u going for a birth
control surgery for the ninth time?
Sardar: What to do yaar, my wife still keeps getting
pregnant.


1 8 ...Husband and Wife are just like two tyres of a
vehicle. Even if one pucntures, the vehicle cant move
further. So intelligent men always carry a stepney
with them!!


2 1 ...A daughter sends telegram to her father after
passing her B.Ed exams, which father received as
"FATHER, UR DAUGHTER HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN BED".